Then one day during White time, I wasn’t given the chance to look at any papers, but the Accountant came barging in carrying large rolled graph papers between his arms slipping out of his grasp, the rolls extending into conical paper funnels looking like pointy triangles.
“I have a different job for you to do. This may surprise you, but I have a terrible time reading maps. I can’t tell the difference between longitude and latitude.”
“Aren’t they both numbers?”
“Let’s keep this our little dirty secret, okay?” he confided, unrolling one of the already unraveling maps, hooking the furling edge over the table. “Mark down the noted addresses as the same colour schemes with these markers.”
This proved more difficult than expected, since the list provided no numbered addresses, just locations. The colour patterns were notoriously complex, considering the varied combinations involved, requiring permutations of swirls, stripes and polka dots along the margins, which required multiple uses of the few coloured markers I had. Despite the obstacles, the lighting scheme remained constant throughout and didn’t play havoc with my senses. As soon as the lighting changed to Sky-Blue/Sun-Green, the Accountant looked at what I’d accomplished so far, took a glance at his papers and proclaimed ‘Aha!’, ‘Thought so!’ and ‘Knew it!’, punctuated with numerous ‘Aha! Aha! Aha!’
“What’s with all the ‘Aha!s’?” I asked.
“They’ve noticed that I can tell when they’re transferring large sums among themselves, but I can’t tell when they make deals of trade over things of equivalent or perceived values.”
“What’s that got to do with the maps?”
“I’m getting to that, I’m getting to that. Rather than deal with definite sums, what they do is trade pieces of properties among themselves with the intent of driving the price upwards. In this stripe-doted line, noted individual Alpha (α) loaned one of their Factories over to noted individual Beta (β) for cheap. Individual Beta (β) then used this collateral for their own ends to noted individual Gamma (γ), and so on further up the line.”
I pointed to something I didn’t recognize. “What’s this symbol labeled ‘μ η δ έ ν’?”, mispronouncing it terribly.
“It may look like UNOÉV, but it sounds like Mhden!”
“Sure looks like an UNOÉV to me.”
“μηδέν,” he emphasized. “I’ve noticed that some properties are more likely to be bought and sold off than others. These buildings are considered worthless, but suddenly become valuable in the right hands.”
“Maybe they’re good at business?”
“Nobody’s THAT consistently lucky. In times of great turmoil, they snatch up properties for a pittance, then sell them for massive profits. And once the Factories fail, they collect insurance for failed distribution of a promising product. Now, this is the interesting part.”
“That wasn’t the interesting part?”
“Those were just the basics! What I find interesting is that certain dilapidated properties are completely ignored over others. These aren’t solid areas of geographic importance, but localized oddities in random areas of high society. These would normally be torn down over the claim of bringing down property values, but they’re being kept up. Why??”
I waited expectantly for an answer from him, until I realized he was waiting for my response. This was a puzzler, and I racked my brain, going nowhere, until I realized the cheat sheet was standing right before me. “I give up, why?”
“I was hoping you would tell me,” the cheat sheet’s canary face fell.
“Might have some ideas. Who bought them?”
“Unknown. The dummy accounts have all dried up.”
“Does anybody live there?”
“I checked the buildings. They’re practically empty. They have no strategic value. They have no nostalgic value. They’re just there.”
“Wait!” I said with a flash of inspiration and started tracing. “If we connect this location to this spot here, and do the same to the other highlighted dots, we get...” I paused, admiring my results. “...a badly drawn connect-the-dots picture.”
“I already tried that”, the Accountant patiently conjectured. “You don’t think I didn’t try every possible permutation? I connected them via colour pattern. I connected them via dates. I even curved the lines in between hoping for a clearer image.”
“I think there’s a mouth in there somewhere,” I squinted.
“Would they really go to all this trouble to create a doodle that barely resembles a misshapen face?”
“Wait! I got another idea!” Taking a ruler and pencil, I started connecting EVERY dot together until they dissolved into a spirograph pattern. “The answer’s gotta be in here somewhere!”
“Don’t drive yourself crazy over it. I know many Mathematicians who’ve gone nuts seeking an answer outside our awareness. So many of us operate by intuition, it’s hard to point out just where they’re greasing the numbers to further their purpose. Lots of them are satisfied by letting things slide, but not me. I notice when the transactions of large funds get transferred and those very same colours wind up in the hands of public servants who make sure certain laws don’t get passed.”
“My friend says that if they actually paid taxes, it would mean getting less money from their generous benefactors.”
“True. There are always influential citizens out there willing to to look the other way, and there’s no point in taking a stand when someone else more unscrupulous accepts an offer for a lower price. This disproportionate unfairness can’t perpetuate indefinitely, and the people will rise up and rebel against this injustice. And when the Revolution comes, I shall be there to support their number!”
“If there’s so much illegal activity going on, why don’t you report it?”
“And risk outing myself as a whistleblower? Open myself to constant abuse for revealing secrets that would otherwise remain silent? I’ve seen how they treat those who don’t toe the company line. Evidence is suppressed. Harassment of accusers is common. Anonymous names get outed very quickly. Requests for protection are routinely ignored. I don’t need the trouble. And I get to see far more examples of corruption up close than I would if I didn’t stay silent. I much more prefer to work the system from the inside, dismantling the inherent built-in forces from within, even as I become corrupted myself.”
“How can you remain so complacent about all this?”
“I document everything. Every illegal activity that happens, I make a record of it. Then I make copies of the copy and keep everything safely stored in a secure location to be unveiled at numerous news outlets should anything happen to me. That’s how I’ve managed to stay alive for so long. I have too much dirt on everybody.”
“Aren’t you worried about getting caught?”
“What are they going to do to me? I handle all their tax forms. They’re too cowardly to go to someone else. I work cheap.”
“If everybody knows what you do, why do they even bother sending you stuff in the first place?”
“I can be very charming when I can be. And when the Revolution comes, I shall be the first among their number!”
“Could you let me know when the Revolution comes? I don’t want to be around by then.”
“You’ll know when I know. You can’t plan these things haphazardly.”
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