As soon as she got on, the vehicle started running, and they were off. It stayed on a straightforward path, cornering multiple roads that got progressively rougher and rougher. What started off on a pitch black surface gradually became smooth grey, then cracked lines showed on the ground that multiplied in number becoming gravelly rubble, until the path was reduced to little more than a dirt road.
She’d been riding for quite some distance now, and was wondering if they were getting any closer to their destination. Right now, she was being driven out into the woods with these two complete strangers, and was concerned about her ankle bracelet collar going off. She was worried she’d be breaking boundaries, but for some reason, no matter how much they traversed, no matter how deep they ventured in, her chain never tauted.
Finally, the ride stopped in front of a layer of trees surrounding a singular entrance that didn’t look inviting at all. The Burned Man turned, and said, “This is where we work; in The Forest of”.
She waited for him to finish his sentence, but it wasn’t coming. “The Forest of what??”
“It changes on a continual basis. There are all kinds of wild creatures and fauna that causes the conditions to evolve rapidly. If any woods could have a personality, it would be this one. Some days, it’s the Forest of Anvils. Other days it’s the Forest of Zeevils, and everything in between.”
“Forest of Evil?” she nervously asked.
“Forest of Zeevils. Other days, it’s the Forest of things including, but not limited to: Changelings, Fairies, Mushrooms, Gnomes, Pixies, Hybrids, CrossBreeds, Bians, Wood Creatures and Hideous Apparitions beyond description that would drive you to madness at first sight.”
“You mean a Haunted Forest? Wouldn’t that be a Forest of Ghosts?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. There’s no such thing as Ghosts.”
The Pale Boy gave a disgusted look of disbelief at the Burned Man, who replied back with an equally unperturbed gaze. “You know what I mean.”
“Well, there’s Haunted Houses, and they’re made out of the very materials we’re currently in. So why shouldn’t there be Haunted Woods?”
“That’s not - ” the Burned Man started, then decided to abandon the argument. “Nevermind. Are you coming in or not?”
The Girl looked at the Pale Boy. He gave a look of noncommitance that said, (Last chance)
“It’s not like I have much choice in the matter. Nobody else will take me on.”
Upon entering through, the Burned Man said, “You’re in luck. Today’s theme is the Forest of Leaves. Tomorrow’s theme is the Forest of Circles.”
As she continued riding, the surrounding scenery passing by only increased the number of plants that up until now had been rather sparse. The confines of the woods had large trees that were familiar, but there were species of plants she’d never seen before. On a faraway tree, there were what looked like meatbags dangling from branches like ripe fruit. There were plants growing out of others, and were so tangled within each other it was hard to tell which was the dominant one. And there were oval floating green flora wafting on what little breeze there was. Many of them were spherical in nature, which while a natural shape, were radically different from what she was used to.
The ground was uneven and muddy, making getting a firm and steady footing difficult. The fertile soil was surrounded by man-made structures that had once been towering towards the heavens, but were now reduced to fallen platforms overgrown with wild growth. It was in one of these still sturdy structures that they rode in and finally disembarked.
“Now”, the Burned Man said, “as long as you’re working for me, there are three rules you’ll have to obey. Rule Number One - Don’t damage the plants, unless otherwise specified.”
“I’ll do my best,” she said, already taking the job lightly.
“Clipping bushes is one of the few enjoyments of life I have left. They're living beings that threaten to overwhelm us if we don't keep them in check. Don’t deprive me of that joy.”
This was slightly disturbing, but she reluctantly agreed. “Okay.”
“Rule Number Two - No sleeping on the job.”
“That’s going to be difficult. I need my beauty sleep.”
“Okay then, just don’t stay in one spot for too long. Otherwise, you’ll regret it.”
“For what? Resting too long?”
“Rule Number Three - and this is the most important rule”, he said, his voice rising in intensity with every uttered word: “No Welsh Rarebit for Dessert! EVER!”
This last rule greatly confused the Girl, since it wasn’t like the others. “What do you - ”
“EVER!!” he repeated, waiting for her to question him again, just so he could shut her down. She didn’t disappoint him for long.
“What’s - ”
“EVER!!!” his face contorting in a mixture of abject fear and utter rage.
When she didn’t bother responding any longer, the Burned Man turned, feeling satisfied. The Girl was anything but. She couldn’t understand why he’d enforce such an easily avoided rule - it seemed completely arbitrary. There wasn’t any particular need for it in the first place, since none could be seen anywhere in the vicinity. With her luck, she’d be craving Welsh Rarebit any moment soon.
What lessened the pain was that she didn’t know what the hell Welsh Rarebit was.
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