“At the time, I was still coming into existence, my awareness still forming thoughts. I felt this guy was only seeking personal self-gratification, and not giving the public what they really needed. So I started making counter-points. The Mechanical Half would make lengthy elaborate speeches that I would then interrupt with well-placed counter-points at the end.”
“AND in between.”
“Strangely enough, my emotional outbursts were looked upon with favour with some of the more devoted people out there looking for something different.”
“I tried to exorcise you, but you refused to leave.”
“I had a right to speak my mind. After all, possession is 51% of the law.”
“I didn’t need the extra help.”
The Fleshy Half thumbed to its back. “Whenever this guy gets too full of himself (which is often), I am there to knock him down a peg.”
“I’d get a lot further if you didn’t keep self-sabotaging me.”
“Adversity is how we grow character! And yet, for some reason, people don’t appreciate hearing conflicting pieces of advice.”
“We would’ve had more followers if you’d just kept your mouth shut.”
“I don’t want Quantity! I want Quality! Quantities of Quality! Why should we waste time trying to convert others? Let Them come to us!”
“They want certainty, and you don’t help matters much.”
“At least the ones who’ve bothered to stay show that they’re worthy of theological psychological and philosophical thoughts. The world is filled with uncertainty, so we need to be uncertain in return!”
“It’s only by asking uncomfortable questions that we can begin to understand the universe.”
“And the unquantifiable verification whether or not GOD exists.”
“My point exactly.”
“I’m confused,” the Girl piped up. The argument had popped up out of nowhere, borne out of deep-seated resentment, and yet, they had somehow arrived at a conciliatory point. “Are you guys for or against each other?”
“A little of both.”
“I’m a contrarian. Between the two of us, we have three opinions.”
“Why don’t you just gag your fleshy part?”
“You think I haven’t tried?”
“It wouldn’t work.” A mouth appeared in the horizontal slit of the Half’s belly. “My body may be stuck, but I’m not limited to the same functions as this form.” Another mouth smirked and spoke out of the Half’s hand. “But I can tell that you’re not asking the important question. What’s really troubling you?”
She was impressed. This Fleshy figure was more perceptive than she’d figured. “I just want to go back to when things were less complicated.”
“Everyone wants to simplify their lives, but more often than not, we wind up complicating them.”
“Well, I’ve been pregnant, and the side effects are seriously inconveniencing me.”
A nose appeared from the folds of the Fleshy Half’s armpit, who took an apprehensive sniff. The Half paused, then said, “She’s an associate. You’d better tell her.”
“Why do you always leave the bad news to me?”
The Fleshy Half smiled. “You’re so much better at it than I am.” and it turned around, showing the Metallic Half once again.
“What? Tell me what?”
“I’m sorry, but I - we cannot help you, as you’ve chosen to align yourself with one of those ONEs. You may have better luck with the other faiths more sympathetic to their causes.”
What? They were going to throw her out just for lying down with the tentacled creature? “Aren’t you supposed to be a contrarian? Find another opinion!”
“Our opinion is that you go somewhere else for help.”
“If you were looking for a particular man, we could help you. But if it relates to changing your discomfort about a pregnancy, I’m afraid we can’t interfere.”
“You’ve associated yourself with a ONE. We can’t chance helping you, lest we face His wrath.”
“We might not believe GOD exists, but better safe than sorry.”
Just before the heavy doors closed, the fleshy Half whispered, “If you want our help, you should prepare to get rejected three times.”
“I’m beginning to see the flaw in your recruitment plan!” she yelled at the closed door. So they didn’t want to help her? Fine! There was loads of competition around who’d be willing to help out! The Half were going to lose out on plenty! She’d barely moved away from the doors when a curious crowd had already gathered around her.
“So, you’ve been rejected too?” the man closest to her asked. “That guy’s so picky when it comes to members.”
“Back off!” another man said. “You had the last three ones! She’s mine.”
“Hang on,” a third man said. “She doesn’t know a thing. To get any help around these parts, you need to belong to a faith. What do you believe in?”
“I Believe I would like to smell better.”
“Normally, I’d say that’s a selfish request, but I can’t fault you. You need a cleansing.”
A fourth man cried out, “Dirty dirty dirty! We are ALL dirty, having crawled out of the primordial muck, but You are positively Filthy!”
“Life may seem torturous, but we’ll seem so benign in comparison that you’ll feel that you have no choice, but to come over to us!” a fifth interjected.
Talking with the Half was slightly confusing, but that was preferable compared to the verbal onslaught the Girl was confronted with. It seemed like everybody wanted to foist their opinions upon her. And the once-sparse crowd only continued to grow.
“You should - ”
“Look here - ”
“See this - ”
“Don’t listen - ”
“Find out - ”
“What will - ”
The conflicting conversion attempts overlapped with each other, and seemed to borrow traits with each other, which made telling one from the other extremely difficult. Some of them started arguing with rival sects they’d had past grievances with:
“You have no real beliefs! You’re just randomly selecting whatever’s available at the moment!”
“You guys are limiting yourselves. Why settle for ONE God when you can embrace ALL of them at once?”
“You’re giving up on your human Gods too easily!”
“Shh! Don’t anger them! You should repent in the slim faint hope that the ONEs won’t crush you out of sheer apathy!”
“We support the New Faceless Gods who’ve replaced the Old Faceless Gods with their utter lack of humanity. If we’re going to appeal to them in their eyes, we need to show we’re capable of utter dehumanization as well.”
“So far, you’re succeeding admirably. We align ourselves against the false Gods that everybody’s fallen in favour of, to support the One True GOD.”
“What has GOD ever done for me lately?”
“He fought back against the ONEs, allowing them to acknowledge our existence, thereby ensuing our continual survival!”
“We shouldn’t have to rely on the ONEs! We should rely on ourselves!”
“I agree! We are only few, but soon, we shall be many.”
All of a sudden, everyone suddenly stopped talking and turned to stare at the last outspoken outburst with revulsion and pity.
“Oh, it’s a Legion.”
“Your slogan needs work.”
“What are you even doing here?”
“Go away.”
The young man looked humiliated. Then spurted, “You’ll be sorry. You’ll ALL be sorry.” Then he ran away.
No comments:
Post a Comment